We all want to be seen, known, and loved. It's one of the amazing gifts of being human--to be seen, and to see each other.
And still, we often approach this desire by trying to twist ourselves into unnatural shapes. We want the people we're around to love us, and so we take note of who and what they love. Then, we try to become that.
The problem is that even if this works, it only works for a while. This is for several reasons, the most important of which is that when you try to be something other than yourself, you get fatigued quickly. At first, the attention you get bolsters you. It makes you feel great. And yet you can't help but feel that you're not being your truest self. So you have to put extra energy into being someone else, and it does nothing to recharge your battery!
If you want to be seen, known, and loved, then you have to commit to being your most authentic self. Otherwise, you will never be seen, known, and loved in the way that you deserve to be--which is authentically. This means that you might turn some people away. But you have to ask yourself: Would you rather be loved at your own expense, or loved for exactly who you are?
No matter what you choose, there will still be people who are not YOUR people. So you might as well seek the ones who like the real you, and not the image you project.
How do you get to this point? You have to be honest with yourself and work to see, know, and love yourself FIRST. Because chances are if you've been trying to fit into other people's boxes for too long, you don't really have a good understanding of just how incredible YOU are.
Take the time to know yourself so that you can see yourself. Then take the time to love yourself. Finally, be brave enough to let the right people love you, and let the rest go. This is how you find your true community.