Are You Trapped by a Need for Validation?
This post is from Frank Lehane, Blueprint Practitioner.
Not long ago, I began sensing my growing dependency on thinking I couldn’t make a move forward unless I got other peoples’ seal of approval or had them edit messages I created. It was as if I became afraid to share my message with the world. I was afraid my messages were too plain. Too simple. Too Frank Lehane.
I had bought into the belief that my heart-felt messages needed to be way more “marketable” to attract people, right? Have you ever tried portraying yourself as someone you simply were not? If you have done that, you already know how that can make life chaotic, stressful, and constricted.
That’s when it dawned on me. I didn’t want to just attract people. I wanted to attract my people. I found that by clearly defining who I was and what I was about, I could laser-focus my attention and messages to attract people just like me. People who like me, my purpose, and my cause. I made the decision to just be Frank Lehane and freely share messages embodying my own set of passions, values, purposes, and skills.
By focusing on that, I began attracting my desired community, “my people."
It is not easy to shake one’s approval dependency, but if you want to learn how to do it, I can show you. It will be worth it to you in several ways. Imagine no longer needing to depend on outside approval or editorial oversight. Shaking approval dependency will allow you to devote more time to creating your message. You’ll find that your messages are clearer. More impactful. More you.
Now, I’m just free to be Frank Lehane. I find I have more patience with myself. I’m learning to trust myself and build real trust in others. In addition to having more freedom to just be Frank Lehane, I enjoy greater velocity to create life-filled messages that help people move forward in whatever they are pursuing.