One of my favorite things about my clients is that they are what I call "Strivers." They are constantly reaching for their potential. They set goals and even before they achieve them, they have another goal ready to go.
Unfortunately, by the very nature of being a striver who sets goals, you're going to miss one from time-to-time. In fact, you may hit a stretch in your life where you're missing goal after goal, and no matter what you do or how you try to fix the problem, the goal remains elusive.
This is very frustrating and debilitating, right? It makes you tempted to either give up on yourself or the friggin' goal. I get it, believe me! I've had plenty of goals missed, and in fact I ache in remembrance of times where I felt I was running, running, running...and getting nowhere.
I know this is a bitter pill to swallow, but I need you to stop. Urgh. For a Striver that's a death sentence, I know, but let me ask you...is your striving getting you anywhere, or are you like me running faster, harder and still in the same place, and perhaps even worse off?
Ya, at some point the striver capability stops working, and it's then you have to pull out the "big guns..." and that is RESEARCH. You have to stop long enough to give yourself a chance to study yourself, and study your direction.
Here's what I mean: if you decided as a family to go to a particular destination for your vacation and set your GPS to get you there, it would be reasonable to expect that your GPS and your car and your driving abilities would get you there. Hopefully you could even expect to have a good time. Well, what if you get lost along the way, or you have a horrible time? Would you throw out your GPS and sell your car? Would you stop having vacations as a family? I doubt it! My guess is you'd study the facts and discern where it went wrong.
This process of studying is in my opinion the first thing we should do when things go wrong. In particular, I want you Strivers out there to study yourself, study the particular goal you're going after AND study the way in which you're going after that goal. If you see a discrepancy between your methods of achieving the goal and who you are, OR you see a discrepancy in the goal itself and who you are, then it's time to choose either a different way or a different goal...because thank GOD, you can't choose a different you, puhleese! (:
Often, Strivers are so headstrong about achieving the goals they set, that they don't ask themselves if the goal is really what they personally want to achieve. Would you ever do this on a vacation?? Pfft, I hope not! Why would you go on a vacation that wasn't personally interesting to you?
Also, Strivers can get caught in the trap of pursuing a goal in a method that may have worked for others in their field and ASSUME that it's going to work for them! That's like saying that a person from Oregon and a person from Florida would get to the same vacation destination by taking the same route. Preposterous!
You see how silly we can be? Stick to who you are in all things: choose goals based on your interests, passions and values. Choose the method of achieving said goal based on your skills. This is striving in the most efficient and effective way, and if you're a Striver...then I know how important being efficient and effective is to you!